


It's Got Nothing To Do With Whales

by SerialObsessor (ibelieveinturtles)



Series: It Could Become a Saga [6]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7346701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibelieveinturtles/pseuds/SerialObsessor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen has a little problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Got Nothing To Do With Whales

**Author's Note:**

> Your Challenge for this week (#6) is to write at least 200 words from each person’s point of view of the same incident or scene, or a continuation of one incident or scene, and include the phrase 'You could always try speaking whale.' You may include Rhys if you wish as well, but you must include all members of the team.

Rhys

Rhys was woken by strange sound. A slightly soggy, bumping, jerking sort of sound, that wasn’t quite regular, but still came at fairly consistent intervals. In his half asleep, half awake daze he knew it sounded familiar but all he could manage to think was that he wished the damn tap would stop dripping, NOW! There was a pause, a slightly longer interval where he thought that the sound had stopped, and he might just be able to get back to sleep, but with a sudden jerk and a painful groan the sound came again.

“Gwen? ‘s ‘at you?” he mumbled sleepily into his pillow. “’S tap dripping…?”

“It’s not the tap Rhys.” Gwen’s weary voice came from the other side of the bed. “It’s me. I’ve got the…” *HIC* “ooww… hiccups!” 

Rhys rolled over and managed to open an eye. “Aw love, water?” he managed to say through the fog of sleep clouding his brain.

“Tried it. Didn’t work.” Gwen’s voice was tired, and she gasped with pain as another hiccup racked her upper body. “Going to work now, I’ll try something else there.”

“’K, goo’ luck.” With a sigh Rhys rolled over and fell straight back to sleep.

 

Gwen

Gwen hissed through her teeth as another killer hiccup jerked through her body. Three hours she’d been hiccupping for now, and she was heartily sick of it. They continued for the entire journey in to the Hub, with only the occasional pause for respite, but no relief from their relentless persistence, and by the time she arrived at the Hub her ribs ached and she felt like her own personal earthquake was living in her chest.

The tourist office was empty when she let herself in, so she carefully leant over the counter between hiccups to press the button that would let her through the secret entrance into the Hub. 

When she entered the Hub Jack was standing near Tosh’s computer, looking at something on the screen. He looked up as she made her noisy entrance, a concerned look on his face.

“You ok there Gwen?”

“Do I sound ok?” she said grumpily. “Got any hiccup cures I haven’t tried already?” *HIC*

Jack grinned. “Well, you could always try...” he leant over and whispered in her ear.

“Jack!! *HIC* That’s enough!” Gwen could feel her cheeks growing hot at the idea of Jack’s suggestion. “Have you got anything G rated?”

 

Jack

Jack thought seriously for a moment, and then had an idea. “'You could always try speaking whale. That works a treat.”

Gwen just looked at him, with an expression that made him feel like he must be an idiot of the highest degree to even think about suggesting something that ridiculous.

“Whale? You want to me to *HIC* speak whale?”

Jack shrugged, “It works for me. So, what else have you tried? Holding your breath?”

“Until I passed out.” Gwen admitted.

“Drinking a large glass of water whilst holding your nose?”

“A whole litre bottle… and now I need to pee.”

Jack thought hard, he didn’t remember many other methods as the whale one always worked for him. “Um, breathing into a paper bag?”

“Yes,” Gwen sighed, “I’ve tried everything I can think of – standing on my head, eating a large spoonful of *HIC* peanut butter, making myself sneeze and reciting the alphabet in reverse.”

“Ooh, I know!” Jack’s face lit up, “A Chellian Rotoneedle will do the trick!” and then fell again, “But unfortunately we don’t have one.” 

He backed up a bit as Gwen glared at him, “Well I suppose I’ll just have to suffer then, won’t I?” 

 

Owen

Owen was down in the autopsy room when he heard Gwen enter the Hub, the echoes of her hiccups preceding her with varying degrees of tone and volume. He watched as she paused to talk to Jack, who seemed to be making some rather unorthodox and possibly lewd suggestions by the flush of red that spread across her cheeks and forehead. Hiccups huh? Well, Owen knew a few cures for hiccups and he decided to try one of them right now.

A quick rummage through his drawers was rewarded with the discovery of a sturdy plastic bag, which he promptly blew into a balloon and sealed with a carefully tied knot. Concealing the bag behind his back, he moved cautiously around the Hub, joining Jack and Gwen at the top of the stairs that led from the cog entrance up to the platform where all their computer stations were located.

“Actually it’s a shame we don’t have a Chellian Rotoneedle, they’re really good at getting rid of hiccups.” Jack was saying as Owen walked up behind Gwen. “Don’t you agree Owen?”

“Absolutely.” Owen agreed as he swiftly brought the balloon up behind Gwen and popped it with a loud bang!

 

Toshiko

Just as she stepped out of the elevator Toshiko was startled by the sound of a large bang inside the Hub. Fearing what she would find she cautiously edged up to the cog door and peered in through the porthole window. She could see Jack laughing as Gwen yelled at Owen, who was defiantly arguing back.

“… did you do that for?” Gwen screeched loudly.

“What’s happening?” Tosh asked as she reached the top of the stairs. “Gwen, are you ok?” Tosh looked from Gwen, with her black circles and smudged makeup, to Jack, to Owen and back to Gwen.

“Gwen had a bad case of the hiccups and Owen just scared them out of her, that’s all.” Jack explained whilst trying not to laugh.

“Oh Gwen, are you ok? Is there anything I can do?” Tosh asked with concern but Gwen shook her head.

“Thanks Tosh but I’ll be fine now. All fixed.” *HIC* “Ohhhh nooooo!!!”

Tosh put her bag down on her desk and gently took Gwen by the arm. “Come on, I’ve got something that will help you.” She glared meaningfully at the two smirking men. “We’ll go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up first.”

 

Ianto

Ianto was returning from the storeroom with some new bags of soap and didn't notice Tosh and Gwen heading for the bathrooms. He did see Owen though, and dropping the bags he strode single-mindedly towards him.

"Owen Harper, you are a wanker!" he declared as he got close enough to grab Owen and start throttling him.

"Wow, Ianto! Ease up!" Jack grabbed Ianto from behind and quickly separated the two men before too much damage had occurred. "What's the problem?"

"I take it you didn't read your email yet this morning Jack." Ianto ground out from between gritted teeth as he held his hands up. They were bright green and sparkly.

"Oh." Jack was a little taken aback. "No, none of us have had time... why are your hands green?" he asked with a perplexed look on his face.

"The soap in the bathrooms. I suspect it has something to do with the slime factory… and Owen."

"Oh well that's easily fixed." Jack replied calmly, but as Ianto watched a horrified look slowly oozed over Jack’s face.

“What?” Ianto asked, worried at the manic look on Jack’s face.

“Tosh and Gwen have just gone to wash up in the bathroom!”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the Torchwood Weekly Writing Challenge at http://torchwoodaustralia.com/forum under the name Obsessed, in 2008.
> 
> All the fics I'll be putting up are also on FanFiction.net but are no longer archived at the TWA.


End file.
